Coaching More than Concepts

I coach players, parents, and businesses every month.

This coaching allows me to tap into the knowledge and experience I have been building upon since I was coaching little league while also playing in high school. I've played at the NCAA level and played with a bunch of old dudes like me in a softball league where I live. No matter what I do in business, it always comes back to coaching. This year was no exception, as I continued to shut the office down every afternoon so I could coach a local high school lacrosse team, just like I do every season. It's just that this season was more special than most. While I am sure I could ramble on more than most on what a great season it was, I would instead like to focus on what made us special behind the scenes and more importantly, how we wrapped up the season.

At our core, there was a commitment to team unity that showed up every practice and game.

And while we for sure had our own disruption, the team always came back to center: "Be the best player for your team, not the best player on your team." With this center in mind, it's no shock that we had a ton of fun every time we stepped foot upon the field. Our defense was loud and communicative, leading to one of the lowest goals against in San Diego. Our attack was decisive and creative, leading to one of the highest goals per game average in San Diego. Overall, the goal differential was the best our school has ever seen, leading to a top two finish for our division. While we stood sad at the finish line, we kept our heads held high with the knowledge we did our best that day and throughout the season. What this allowed us to do was not only start well, but end well. If you can end on a loss and still understand that you did and are doing your best, you can rest easier knowing that losses build determination for a bigger win next time.

We wrap every season with a night of celebration and affirmation.

In the past, we used to do team parties. Those are functionally efficient and fun, but in all honesty, quite easy to forget. While I was coaching my son early on in his t-ball days, I decided to make a switch and try to impart wisdom on kids, something that we try to do on the field, but also as we wrap a season. Here's what that looks like: we host a team party with food and drinks and make sure there is plenty of fun for both parents and players. We set time aside to speak directly to each individual athlete, speaking words of wisdom into their lives while summarizing their season. And we conclude with parting words that work to emphasize the coaching the team received throughout the season. At first we thought that students would be bored with the words of affirmation. After all, who wants to hear a coach speak directly to them, about them, for a few minutes each? Well, turns out, every student athlete wants to hear this. In fact, I've been doing this so long now that some of the students I coached in football while they were in junior high, still remember their words of affirmation from back then, and they're now playing for me on varsity high school lacrosse.

I'm coaching more than concepts; I'm coaching life.

Lacrosse is fun and perhaps my favorite sport in the world. But man, this is so much more than coaching lacrosse; it's coaching life. Coaches have the opportunity to impact the lives of students on a level that some parents and teachers will never achieve. It's one of the reasons our coaching staff shows up prepared to lead the way we do every day. Kids deserve our full presence when they're there, and they know it when you're phoning it in. So after our words of affirmation for every student athlete, we turn to the entire crowd of players, parents, and all the friends that are celebrating with them and make sure we leave them all with something they can take away. This year, we left them with ten principles to remember.

1 Where you are now is not where you are going to be. This is just the opening chapter of your grand story yet to be written.
2 You don't have to be perfect to start. Just start. Every step forward is one more that takes you further than where you started.
3 Don't be afraid to fail. There is no success without multiple failures that have caused you to learn. Just remember to fail forward.
4 Sometimes you have to lose a goal to find your destiny.
5 You are here for a reason. You have a purpose and you are meant to live and share it.
6 You don't have to be great. You just have to have a great desire to be your best and bring out the best in others.
7 Ignore the critics. Just show up each day and do the work. They will talk and you will work, and eventually your effort outpaces their attitude.
8 Surround yourselves with those who make you the best version of yourself and distance yourself from those who remain critical of others.
9 Greatness is not a choice. Greatness is many choices made over and over.
10 If you believe your best days are ahead of you, they are. The best is yet to come.

“Coaching is a privilege. You’re shaping habits, teaching discipline, and instilling values that last long after the final buzzer. The wins are fun, but watching your players grow into phenomenal people? That’s the real scoreboard.” Steve Collins

What will people remember about your coaching?

There's not a large difference between coaching players, parents, and businesses. They are all have practice plans and people, goals and game-time moments. And if you believe that everyone needs a coach, then you probably also believe that everyone needs the right kind of coach. While there are certainly different styles and flavors of coaching, I think we can all agree on a few things, some of which I spoke about earlier.

1 A team must be united to succeed on the field and in life.
2 Good coaches show up, but great coaches show up with a plan and a process.
3 Kids forget about drills, but they'll never forget the time you took to speak directly with them.

I make mistakes and I hope I can learn from them. But I also hope that as I am making mistakes while I am coaching, those I coach understand that this is a part of life and that as I own my mistakes and get better, they too can own their life and be better for it. And I hope every player, parents, and business I have helped coach along the way understands that the time I put in is for them–and me–and that is what helps make coaching so impactful; that we've all accomplished something amazing together, even if that something amazing was just our time together.